Living in a storm drain

In a previous post, I mentioned that officials in BMC had taken a liking to the storm drain housing idea. Slum Rehabilitation Authority (SRA) has decided to go ahead with this idea and as part of a new marketing campaign has come up with a new song (inspired by John Denver's Leaving on a Jet Plane). Here it is in full. Don't forget to thank your friendly neighbourhood babu because you saw it here first.

Gunny bags are packed
We're ready to go
We used to live right by your door
We take our daily dump as you drive by
But Mumbai is burstin
No space to crawl
The drains are waitin
They've cleared them all
All ready with restrooms
Just no sky

Don't miss us or cry for us
Tell us you won't be too jealous
That we'll ne'er have to wait to let go
Cause we're living in a storm drain
Don't know if we'll be dry again
But man, we love the flow

There'll be some times when you flush the pot
Sometimes when it will rain a lot
But I tell you man, they're few and far between
Every room at home will be filled with poo
Every corridor will stink of you
But I won't come back, soon I'll love the scene

Don't miss us or cry for us
Tell us you won't be too jealous
That we'll ne'er have to wait to let go
Cause we're living in a storm drain
Don't know if we'll be dry again
But man, we love the flow

Now the time has come to leave you
We can promise
We won't miss you
When the prices rise
You'll be on your way
Dream about the days to come
When you decide to move on down
About times, we won't have to say

Don't miss us or cry for us
Tell us you won't be too jealous
That we'll ne'er have to wait to let go
Cause we're living in a storm drain
Don't know if we'll be dry again
But man, we love the flow

Yes, we're living in a storm drain
Don't know if we'll be dry again
But man, we love the flow

Readers who think this housing idea has no merit are obviously not acquainted with other successful SRA projects incorrectly described in this article as "a decaying Stalinist-styled pile, covered with Rorschach-like mildew stains" and having "dank hallways" with "36 rooms of gloom". You be the judge.

The rain in Mumbai goes mainly down the drain

The Chief Minister of Maharashtra, Mr. Vilasrao Deshmukh, has asked officials from various bodies like BMC, police, Defense, railways, BEST to prepare Standard Operating Procedures (SOPs) for handling emergencies that are likely to occur during the upcoming 2007 Mumbai floods. But, with the monsoons just a fortnight away, Mumbaikars are wondering if this is too little too late. In other words, are these SOPs merely sops that will leave them sopping?

BMC (Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation) is meanwhile fighting against the clock to get the city rivers and creeks desilted before the monsoons. They seem very optimistic of getting the job done before May 30th. Their optimism no doubt stems from their past experience at getting civic projects completed on schedule.

Their job was made a little easier by the fortuitous discovery of an Angrez ke zamaane ka storm water drain on Tulsi Pipe Road. During the slum demolition drive, BMC officials discovered a set of unused manholes which in turn led to finding a 100 year old storm drain built by the British.

This further proved that India clearly lags behind the USA, where a furnished 2BHK flat was found in a storm drain with TV, DVD and VCR. A team of Mumbai babus is set to tour San Diego to study this alternate housing solution for Mumbai's housing problems. A source in the BMC revealed that this is a very practical solution and is likely to be a problem only 3-4 months in a year.